It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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