Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
