it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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