You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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