I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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