i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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