Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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