you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
