We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
