I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
