I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
