Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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