After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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