Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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