I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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