Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
