so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize