I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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