Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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