I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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