she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
