i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
