sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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