Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
