i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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