smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
