just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
