Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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