I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think I sprained my soul last night
You can't just leave with hair like that
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
