I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
