Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
