This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
