But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
