I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
