im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
