Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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