Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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