I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
