4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
