How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
