i was rollin on her like bob the builder
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
