I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
