and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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