no. you can't hotbox the world.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
