worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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