I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
