im so drunk with asians
where?
always
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize