at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
