DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize