life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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