I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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