Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Congratulations! We have a period
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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