this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
