looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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