So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
