he wants to bone in the snuggie
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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