I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
