return my video game
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
