all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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