Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
