Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize