I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
