Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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