You work out of a Hotel?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just had sex on a roof
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
