idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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