The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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