a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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