Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
