God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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