escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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