Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
