alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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