Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
please come you make the beer taste better
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
